February 12, 2018

Inner Wisdom

Posted in Mindfulness, Well-being tagged , , , , , at 4:38 pm by kellyfdennis

pink clouds and bare treesMost of us are very familiar with the inner critic voice, aka the nasty girl or boy who lives inside our heads. That voice is usually pretty loud, wants us to behave in ways that make us look like we’ve got it all together, can handle it all, berates us when we mess up. This voice, however, can cause more problems for us than we realize: stress, anxiety, depression, distancing ourselves from others, not living the authentic life we were meant to live.

In my last blog post, I talked about the idea of a wise inner self, intuition, etc. In this post I want to suggest some strategies to begin to access that part of ourselves. First of all, inner wisdom is not verbal. So, anytime you are hearing the nasty girl or boy’s voice, that has nothing to do with inner wisdom. Next, inner wisdom creates a sense of calm, or contentedness. The feeling that this is “right”, “meant to be”. So if you’re feeling fearful or anxious, inner wisdom is not present. Inner wisdom does not rise as a reaction to fear or worry.

Things I have found helpful to connect with that intuitive part of myself:

Journal: Write down, in a stream of consciousness sort of way, your fears, anxieties, worries, and your dreams, desires, and visions for the future. Don’t let the inner critic’s loud voice deter you, don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, or if your writing even makes sense. Just write and write and write until you believe there is nothing more to write. Then step away for a time, come back and notice the themes surrounding fear and worry. Then notice the themes surrounding dreams and visions. I noticed that fear and worry were getting in the way of my dreams and visions.

Engage: Talk and interact with people who are inspirational, who have big dreams of their own, who take healthy risks toward their visions. Engage in activities that turn down the volume on the inner critic and allow space for the mind to quiet, such as yoga, meditation, and prayer.

Pay attention to your senses: Get in touch with what your senses tell you about your world. Increase your attention to the smells, physical sensations, sounds, sights, and tastes around you. Your intuitive self is most connected with your sensory experience.

This takes time, it is a lifelong practice to learn to quiet the inner critic so we can hear that intuitive whisper. When we can access that intuition, we can begin to start making decisions in a calmer fashion, we can learn to “be” with ourselves so that we can be present with others in more authentic ways, and the stressors of daily life may seem less daunting.

In an upcoming YouTube video, I’ll take you through an Inner Wisdom Meditation that can help you begin to access this part of yourself.

Be well and Have a Wonderful Day!


February 7, 2018

Inner Critic

Posted in Mindfulness, Self Image tagged , , , , , at 4:49 pm by kellyfdennis

Kellysmile1The harsh internal critic was called the “pathological critic” by psychologist Eugene Sagan to describe the negative inner voice that we all possess.  I call her the “nasty girl that lives inside my head”.  Gender is a moot point, though, the pathological critic can take on either gender.  Therefore, your harsh internal voice may be a “nasty guy” if you are male. I’ll use female pronouns, but these principles apply to any “nasty” voice regardless of gender.

The thing about this nasty girl is that she thinks she’s being helpful. She seems to assume that if she beats me up enough, I will change my ways! That doesn’t usually happen, though. I tend to just feel crappy when she is saying nasty things to me. I have found it very  helpful to recognize when she’s “talking” and acknowledge her existence and what she’s “saying” by telling her, “Thank you, I hear that you think I’ll mess up that thing I’m working on, if I don’t try harder; but really, I’ve got this, thanks anyway.” Then I move on and shift my thinking. I  might have to do this several times in one hour depending on the situation!

Recognizing the difference between your own wise “voice” and the irrational nasty “voice” can be a little dificult at first. That “voice” has probably been in existence in your mind for a long time. Mindfulness can be very helpful in beginning to separate out what is the “wise” person “voice” and what is the “nasty” person “voice.” I have recently put up two videos on my You Tube channel that begin to teach the basics of mindfulness mediation. While they are not targeting the nasty and wise voices specifically, they do help you to get in touch with what’s happening in your mind and body and take you out of autpilot.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel to get access to all the content from past uploads as well as future uploads which will include a “Wise Voice” meditation.

Be Well and Have A Wonderful Day!

November 10, 2017

Today’s Great Idea!

Posted in cognitive behavioral therapy tagged , , at 10:07 am by kellyfdennis

cornandcloudsTake charge over the “voices” in your head today. Don’t listen to the one that says “I can’t do this”, or that one that says “I’m such an idiot”. Ignore the ones that say “I’m not good enough”, “I’m all alone, no one loves me”, “I’m such a failure”. Maybe your “voices” say “I’m defective, broken, or too needy.” Whatever the “voices” say today, give yourself a break. Even though, on some level, the “voices” (aka, negative internal dialogue), are trying to help by spurring us on to do something in a different way, ultimately, they just make us feel crummy!

Try something like, “thanks for letting me know, but that’s not really helpful right now!” Or if you’re feeling really feisty, talk back,”You know what? I am lovable; even though I make mistakes, I’m not a failure.” Or “everyone’s got stuff, mine’s just bugging me today!”

Make it a Fearless Friday and take charge of that Nasty Person inside your head!




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