May 22, 2017

Meditation Challenge: Day 7

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:42 am by kellyfdennis

Day 7 of my 10 minutes per day for 10 days meditation challenge was probably my most interesting experience thus far. I have done guided mediations, music with guided meditations, and music only meditations to date. Since I’m wanting to practice existing in “being” mode more often, my goal was to eventually shift to a completely silent meditation. I decided I would do it in steps, seemed to make sense to me.

The Insight Timer app has, guess what, a meditation practice timer! So I set a beginning bell, an interval bell at 5 minutes and then an ending bell. I settled in to what is as quiet and comfortable place I could find in my house. This is no easy feat, we live on a busy road, I have a dog, a cat, a husband, and neighbors. The chances of my environment remaining quiet were slim, but I set about closing my eyes and settling in to my breathing.

While focusing on the rhythm of my breathing and the way it felt entering and exiting my body, I became immediately aware of the ringing in my ears that always exists (I have tinnitus). I tried a technique that works for me at night to fall back to sleep after waking, which is humming softly. The humming matches the pitch of the ringing and I can usually fall back to sleep without it bothering me. In this case, I wasn’t able to overcome the distraction caused by the ringing.

I have to admit, I did have some negative internal dialogue attached to this, but challenged it by saying that there was nothing wrong about meditating to ambient white noise. The end result should be the same. So I clicked the ambient noise of rain on the app, reset the bells and settled in again.

The rain noise helped and I was able to focus on my breathing once again and settle in. The 5 minute interval bell scared the !@#$ out of me! It took a couple of minutes for me to slow my heart rate and settling back into breathing. Eventually, I was able to feel pretty calm and peaceful. Just before the ending bell rang, I was aware of the thoughts that I was tired of rain, in real life and on the app; and the dog started whining to go outside!

What did I notice? Negative internal dialogue related to “Why can’t I do this? Yet another barrier.” As I said, though, I was able to challenge it and continue on to settling back in to sitting. I’m not surprised that the interval bell scared me, I have an easily triggered startle response; next time I’ll use the wooden bell which isn’t so harsh sounding. Overall, I’d say I’m learning what my meditation style is and how to work within it.

I’m looking forward to Day 8! Be Well and Have a Wonderful Day!

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stefdennis

ponderings on life, food, God, and love

Grace on the Moon

Do Not Weigh Your Self-Esteem on a Scale

on anything and everything

my thoughts on what I see

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