February 23, 2014

That Nasty Girl

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 3:06 pm by kellyfdennis

ImageMost of us have an internal dialogue running inside of our minds. Some psychologists have called it the “Pathological Critic”, or “Negative Internal Dialogue”. I call it the “Nasty Girl (or guy) Who Lives Inside Your Head”. Whatever you call it, it can lead to low self-esteem, negative mood, even withdrawal from others.

The people who sit across from me are often surprised when we begin to talk about this and I ask, “Do you believe what she says?” Usually, the answer is yes, but in asking the question, I have already planted the seed that maybe, just maybe, that Nasty Girl is lying to you.

She comes from many different places, and it’s not the same for everyone. She may be echoing the words of over critical parents, teachers, and/or coaches; bullying from peers, or negative words heard in an abusive relationship. Some people can’t exactly pinpoint where she first originated, but the affects of her words can be detrimental.

Once you begin to tune into what she’s saying (thinking about your thinking), you can begin to feel curious as to the truth (or not) of her words. So, she tells you you’re “not good enough”, “not good enough” for what? She tells you that you don’t deserve to take good care of yourself, why not?

Begin to challenge her. When she tells you something, write down the evidence that she might be right, but also write down the evidence that she might actually be wrong. In the beginning she’ll fight you on this, but over time, you’ll come to see that she only has a one sided view of situations, thoughts, and feelings. Over time, you may even begin to wear her down and turn down the volume on her voice.

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stefdennis

ponderings on life, food, God, and love

Grace on the Moon

Do Not Weigh Your Self-Esteem on a Scale

on anything and everything

my thoughts on what I see

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